A wise old woman at the ripe age of 113 years (yes – that is NOT a typing error!) Told me , “Honey, you must walk out the front door naked.” She knew my soul had a hard time being transparent to the world. To open myself totally up would be a HUGE feat! But her words changed me…and they still work on me today.
Why is it so hard for me to be transparent? Does others have this issue? Why do I keep walls up to protect? Through the years, I’ve come to realize many truths as to why. Words have to be delicately said as I reveal with each week’s blog and I pray the Lord assists me in this.
As a means of “handling” negativity as a child, I searched for one thing that I could have control over. I found my only way of venting was by making myself vomit.
At the age of 12, I had no idea I was well on my way to hurting my own body while I built up walls of non-transparency. In the 6th grade, my parents had several boxes of a weight loss product called “dexatrim.” I started taking those without them knowing. I would hide myself under my large clothes, and would sneak off to the bathroom with a spoon to gag myself. Bulemia (overconsuming food then vomiting or overdosing on laxatives as a means to get rid of it) was my first disease, then it crept into anorexia (eating less than 300calories/day). When I went off to college I developed athletica nervosa (over-exercising).
I’m walking out the front door naked here for several reasons. Because of what I had been through, it led me to choose the career I have today, of which I have a huge passion. In return, I have been able to help many others improve their health. “Every valley shall be exalted and every mountain and hill brought low; The crooked places shall be made straight and the rough places smooth.” Isaiah 40:4. Everyone suffers at different points in life. You must know that even though you might be going through a rough valley right now, there is a reason for it - and growth found in it. Even in suffering, the sovereignty of God prevails. You will gain so much strength mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from every low season of your life. God promises great joy on the mountain top.
Jesus called Himself “the bread of life” and said that all who come to Him will never hunger or thirst” (Jn 4,6). It is up to you to provide the will…and God will provide the power, as He has promised. All it takes is you asking Him for strength.
Questions for you: What all do you hunger for emotionally? Spiritually?
Are there voids in your life that you keep trying to fill by use of food, drugs, or alcohol and they just seem to never be filled no matter how hard you try?
If you have dealt with something negative in your past, have you made efforts to use your experience and turn them into “assets” for the work of the Lord?
